What is therapy?

Therapy is when resource meets a need.

-Dr. Tori Olds, Ph.D (Minding The Heart Teacher and Friend)

Therapy is the process of you getting to know yourself.

Psychotherapy is a collaborative process between a trained licensed professional and a client seeking support and guidance. It can be confusing to distinguish therapy from other processes that lead to self exploration and improvement such as introspection, self reflection, self-improvement, philosophical inquiry, healthy venting, processing feelings with a good listener, talking about ourselves with friends and loved ones v/s seeking professional help. With emergence of coaches, the next question to ask is the difference between a coach v/s seeking a professional licensed psychotherapist. The answer is multi-layered and really depends on how deep you are hoping to go in terms of self-exploration.

The key difference between a coach and a psychotherapist is: Regulation.

There is an overseeing body, a board, a regulatory entity which defines the scope, practice and limitations of psychotherapy for each licensed psychotherapist-

Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW)

Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC)

Licensed Psychologists (Ph.D)

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT)

There is not yet a regulatory body that determines how a coach should conduct their sessions and what their scope of practice looks like. So, a coach may be an excellent option for someone on the go who is seeking short term support without limitations of insurance re-imbursement or geographical location. No licensure or board approval means that a coach can define their scope of practice independently and has no board regulatory oversight to seek professional guidance.

We live in a society that teaches us a very rigid way of being: Define yourself at an early age and stick to it. But nothing in nature is rigid (unless it is dead). We are insecurely attached to time and productivity. Our time is our money and if we are not productive, we are losing money as a result. In lived experience, this way of life can be very black and white: good grades/bad grades, success/failure, skinny/fat, attractive/ugly, right/wrong, shame/pride, gratitude/punishment, etc that it starts to seep into other areas of our lives like intimate relationships, parent-child bonding, professional development, and the overall idea of what does it mean to live a good, rich life. We are here for only a short amount of time, which only exacerbates the pressure to make something bigger out of this short life. I am a firm believer that it is possible to live a life of deliberation, that is rooted in your present (not past regrets or future avoidance). I hope to have my clients experience the same.

And that’s where we begin! Common presenting concerns can look vague and nebulous clouds of depression, anxiety, panic, grief and loss. These concerns get compounded by factors such as racial trauma, intergenerational trauma, cultural isolation and learned helplessness to name a few. That’s where a professional psychotherapist can offer guidance to help attain a specificity to why a certain problem is a problem for the specific you at this specific time in life.

-How do I become more confident?

-What should I look for in a partner to be sure they are the one?

-How do I stop being angry?

-How do I love myself?

-How do I become more assertive?

-How do I show up for myself?

-How do I live my life for me, instead of reacting to others?

-I am surviving every day, I don’t know how to thrive.

-Will I be hated if I am myself?

-How do I take care of the other and myself?

-Can I push against my loved ones or will I be pushed away?

This is merely a fraction of what comes up in sessions. The overarching question points to unique lived experiences, series of values and truths which create our unique reality. And getting to know the HOW does one relate to their own needs and the needs of their friends, family, nature, the world is what therapy can help with.

As Alfred Alder put it, “All problems are interpersonal problems.” We are constantly seeking acceptance by others, our survival depends on it. It’s time to seek acceptance by yourself. That is the first step towards transformation into the life you wish to lead.